SPRooM: Not the Dumb New Englander Band

Green Bean kix?

2006-11-07T20:53:00.000-06:00

Ok, last November (yes, almost a year ago), we were going to fix a nice Thanksgiving dinner. The wife liked this green bean casserole, and wanted that as one of the sides. ON THANKSGIVING, we went to your friendly one-stop-shop with happy faces and evil corporate bidding for this holy grail of thanksgiving place settings. when we got there the place was packed, of course. we went to the 'correct' aisle per its description, and there were stockers all over the place. We looked for the right one, and it was nowhere to be found. we looked some more. nothing. finally, we went asking for help from the stockers (what would you do here?). Of course, we went to the most 'normal' looking one, and asked them:

Us: "Do you have 'Blah' green bean casserole kit?'

Stocker 1: "Umn. I'n don' know 'bout dee GREEN BEEEN KIX." (capitalization for loudness and inflection). "HEHN! YOUU know 'bout dem GREEN BEEEN KIX? HEHN! HEHN! GREEN BEEEN KIX?"

Us: "We'll ask them if that's their regular area. Thanks for your help" (to Stocker 1) Us: "Do you know where the 'Blah' green bean casserole kits are?" (to Stocker 2)

Stocker 2: "I'm sorry ma'am, this aisle is normally his---(Stocker 1 interrupts) "HEHN! YOUU know 'bout dem GREEN BEEEN KIX? HEHN! HEHN! GREEN BEEEN KIX?"
Stocker 2: "Let's ask Stocker 3, and he should be able to hel--(Stocker 1 interrupts) "The GREEN BEEEN KIX? HEHN? DA KIX, DA KIX, DA KIX, DA BEEEN KIX" (we're walking away from Stocker 1 {redubbed Stalker 1}, and trying to find an answer to this all important holiday question)

Stocker 2 to Stocker 3: " Hey, Stocker 3, do you know where the 'Blah' green bean casserole kit is? we're having troub---(Stalker 1 interrupts) "HEHN, Stocker 3....Green BEEEN KIX. Wherm dey at with Therm GREEN BEEEEN KIX. DA KIX?" We finally found out that this huge merchandise mogul had discontinued its use of that particular brand of green bean kix, ahem, kits. To this day, we remember how fast we got out of that aisle before we had to hear one more declaration that still rings in my ears like yesterday: WHERE DEM GREEN BEEEEN KIX?

Here's your 8 minutes of previews bitches...

2006-10-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

Alright...things are starting to wind down between Halloween and Thanksgiving. Keep watching, because i've got some posts coming up. Just for a tease, here's a few that will be forthcoming:

-Green Bean Kits
-Isabelle the birdkiller
-Story of Junebug
-I dont never break a dollar
-Fat fingered manager
-Old people texting
-Worst case of grocery store feet ever
-I got the invisible woman, when I was looking for the man of Steel
-i'm fuskin hamfred
-SAFOOMA
-If yhou're gonna charge me, I want sausage
-Nuh-uh! I seen'd ya tilt~!
-A drag queen scorned
-Snakes on a Plane

Stay tuned true believers, you don't want to miss out on 'Green Bean Kix', 'Story of Junebug', or 'Nuh-uh! I seen'd ya tilt~!'

Two time saving tricks that work every time.

2006-10-13T10:11:00.000-05:00

Trick numero uno (#1 if you're not from around here): The ON/OFF ramp honk: you ever driving along, and right as you're passing the interstate entrance/exit...there is some jackass that technically has enuff time to get onto the roadway in front of you, but you KNOW (you just freaking know) they are not going to go as fast as you. They will slow you down. Wanna know what you can do to stall them? It won't give you much time, but it always works out to just enuff.

Here's how it works: you see them inching like they are going to do the crawl out in front of you, right? Get just within hearing distance and give them a good long honk. Their inching with take a brake (normally a little jerky just for that extra giggle effect), and in that moment-BAM-their opportunity to get in front of you safely is just, well, gone. rinse. lather. repeat.

Trick numero dos (#2, if you've had refried beans and a coke) The Elevator floor skip: Ok, this one requires more than just one person...you need i'd say at least 3-4 contributors.

Here's how it works: Working in a corporation, I HATE having to stop on an extra floor, and get all those people on board. When you see that you're stopping at a floor, and you don't want anyone else on; get 3 of your friends to crowd the front. Since you're the frontrunner, you have to do the convincing. The doors open, you look to your left. you look to your right . try to back up, but a contributor is right behind. The people waiting will look in more than likely, see that there might be room, but not fight the fight. It's worked so far every time it's been tried. There you have it. Go out there. Cause a little ruckus....you deserve it

Pedestrian Controversy

2006-10-11T16:41:00.000-05:00

OK. I dont really believe in huge en masse pedestrian crosswalks in GENERAL, and begrudingly abide by the law...so, why 'OH WHY' would someone seeing me driving toward them, slow down just enough for them to cross, and wait for their eight kids they have with them to cross (this is turning into a very long sentence)...STOP and look at me with pursed lips and disapproving manor? I WILL HIT YOU, WOMAN. get the F out of my way. she stopped like i wasnt going to stop, but um...she was right in front of my car. I just dont get it. when crossing the street for me, i always try to go BEHIND passing vehicles or let them go by before crossing. Is it something they put in the yellow 'pedestrian' paint? I wanna freaking know?? AGGGGHHHH! in other words, never shop at the supercenter if you know i'm going to be there later, and if you do...get out of the way.

Blame it on the CEC worker:

2006-10-10T14:48:00.000-05:00

A few weeks back, i ended up at the place where a kid can be a kid. You know...the one with the scary felt robots singing crappy covers of even crappier songs. One thing though: Skee ball. yep; it's an addiction. Anyway, I'm sitting there shimming those balls into holes (hey now, this is a family show here...), trying to get as many freakin tickets as humanly possible. It was late, there was no one in there...and temptation rose. What if i THREW the balls underhanded into the 50 slot instead of trying to snakem up there like normal. Sounded like a good idea at the time. I started off with 40's. bam. bam. bam. i was getting 40 every single time. This was too freaking easy! whoops. here comes a 'party leader' over. i started playing nice again, and this girl starts dusting the skeeball aisles. why? because skeeball is a serious sport, and all the lanes need to be f*cking clean that's why. Anyway, she started dusting mine, and i was like 'no, i wasnt playing or anything...i can wait'. She finally left, and looking around to see if anyone else there was watching, i thought i'd give my throwing abilities another go. 40. bam. 40. bam. it was time to go for 50. First try for 50--it goes up over the net, hits the scoreboard, knocks the glass right off the front and makes the LED go all haywire. mmmmmmmm....what did i do? I blamed it on the CEC worker. she just dusted 15 seconds earlier. There was no more underhanded throwing after that. Just plain ole' skeeball. Moral: if you're going to do something sneaky, be quick on your feet with an excuse. it worked for me.

What a lazy boy i've become

2006-09-21T21:49:00.000-05:00

www.myspace.com/sproom

I'm sorry, I've been a bad blogger lately. i've got 25-30 entries to publish, and i think i've scared myself away. more to come. promise. first i've got to get thru the end of this month, and October. my god, i'm busy

A rolling contradiction

2006-08-17T08:45:00.000-05:00

If you're pretentious enuff to buy a highend BMW, and have the wherewithall to put a personalized liscense plate that states "WOO WEE".....it's probably prudent to NOT drive at 25mph in a 55mph zone. I'm just sayin.

Great googly moogly, people are dumb.

This Blog's on top Again

2006-08-16T14:46:00.000-05:00

Anyone that read this blog before the relaunch under new name, or anyone
that knows me:

You remember seeing SPRooM: It's what's for hOOmp. This was a word that I've coined in my neck of the woods frequently. It's the display on my blog, it's the display on other internet outlets, it's the tagline on my phone. Hell, i'm thinkin about copyrighting it. Anyway, I always told friends to "google 'sproom'". To my dismay, I did so a few months back. Some New England band named themselves Sproom. Since my blog's relaunch, I've made it my goal to entertain, opine, and frequently diss them until I've got enough readership to reach #1 hit again whence "sproom" is thus googled.

Well, guess what? It's back. #1. You know what i've got to say about it. It's about f'ing time. That's where it belongs. ON TOP.

This also marks my 100th Blog under this moniker. WOO WOO! what a perfect entry for such a landmark event. Tell your friends.

SPRooM: It's what's for hOOmp (and also 'Not the Dumb New Englander Band').

There's this place where all walks of life gather

2006-08-05T12:14:00.000-05:00

It's called...the Electric Cowboy aka Velajo Mexico, among other names. I've been there twice. Last nite was one of them. Can't say i'm much impressed. You basically shake your ass to some mad thuggerish music, get a 'flashback 80's' round, then line dancing. I felt like Rick James looked on the Chappelle Show. ('i think i'm losin my mind'). There's dudes in Cowboy hats, there's Thugs in Jersey's talkin on their cells while 'dancing', there's hoochie mama's to trashie cow-cow's (that's a huge bitch).

overall, i had a good time...but that's just because I don't care where I'm at. I'm having a good f'ing time. Now here's an amusing story:

Walking in, finding out it was only a cash bar, getting charged 2000.00 fee for using THEIR atm, finally (FINALLY) getting some alcohol, and getting to a stooping location took entirely too long.
This is a prime people watching place. promise. The line dancing starts. Yep, there's some neck grabbing. Yep, there's some hootin and hollerin'. But there is a singular individual dancing so fast, it looks like he's line-running on the dance floor. He'd shoot by people, and they'd look at him like he was messing up their pretty dance. He gets the honorable mention because
1) he dance like no one was watching
2) he pissed other country folk off
3) he actually got into the twangy mess people call music

Oh, and don't step on my peep's toe, cuz she'll elbow you right in your fucking head. True story...and people say I'm harsh. Oh well

Put this in a blender, and see what you get:

2006-07-31T22:07:00.000-05:00

Some cheap mexi food, margarita, sloshy car ride, maritini's and pool, interlinked bars, a tangy fruit with many different fruits in it, a drag queen scorned, a shot of Jägermeister, some dancing in the most vulgar sense, a ride home, some breakfast food in the middle of the nite, a creepy guy at a park, a starry sky above a grassy floor, some napping, pizza, and skating with rollergirls, very tall men, no air flow, late comers, and finally too much bacardi select while racing go-karts on a big screen...

Add that to a flat tire, some last minute packing, and some bloody fingers later...you get my weekend in a nutshell. Enjoy

Confessions of a hopped up Pacemaker Patient

2006-07-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, one family member was in the hospital unexpectedly, and thus had to share a room with another patient. This lady was in her early 70's, and had no visitors the entire time we were there visiting. The great thing about this broad, was that she piped in on EVERYTHING. She talked about how she didnt know how to work her computer since, well, she didnt have a computer. She became the voice through the curtain, the Wizard of Odd. We'd be having a normal conversation, and BLAMO! she'd come back with somethin.

That's all i got. It was amusing to me anyway. Oh well.

PAW-PAW, you gotta go tee-tee?

2006-07-09T09:13:00.000-05:00

While at a hospital recently, I was entangled in one family's struggle to maintain a balance of ignorance, and lack of understanding (so basically that would be ignorance too, huh?) . This lady had her father in the hospital for some heart rated condition. In passing, I hear the conversation as follows:

PAW PAW: "It was nice ya'll visiting (he's trying to get up from his hospital bed)"

Daughter: "We just love ya, ya know that? We're gonna be back soon. Did you
call the nurse, what do you need PAW PAW?"

PAW PAW: "AH...uh...See you in a bit"

Daughter: (at the door and on the way out....pauses, turns back thoughtful.
at a unnecessary volume says:) "PAW PAW, you gotta go TEE-TEE?!"

by this time, I'm past the door, feeling sorry for this old man in the hospital. He didnt want help...he wanted privacy. He's in a hospital getting probed and prodded all over the place, enduring visits from overbearing relatives, and all he really wants to do is "tee tee" with a little dignity. I say, PAW PAW, you tell them how you're feeling. You called that nurse in for a reason. If you trusted your daughter to do it, you would've asked, right?? Daughter, get a fucking clue and leave the man the hell alone!!!

Now, I personally couldn't stop laughing at the little snippet, but looking
back...well, I still laugh.

Are Swingers for Real??

2006-07-09T08:05:00.000-05:00

The art of social decadence. The looseness of morals. The opportunity for overexposure. This form of openness was long thought dead by me...lost in the dregs of the 60's and 70's. Little did i know it was back. I've since met one of these people calling themselves by the aforementioned term. Many claim this themselves, but are they for real? Not in the truest sense. You've got to be devoted to the cause. No wiffly waffly. No excuses or humility for your attitude.

This particular person is a complete and utter SOB. That doesnt change their stance, but it doesnt speak highly of others with the same hobby. I'm still astounded at the thought. I cannot fathom actively preying, or pursuing might be a better word, people to join in something you and your partner make for yourselves. I'm not saying some drunken stupor and a crazy night cant happen....but to go out looking for this particular purpose seems alien to me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned in this world we live in now. call me romantic. call me selfish...I like my privates to stay private, and my woman to be treated like a lady, not a Chinese finger cuff. Oh well.

The Nemo Story

2006-07-02T14:41:00.000-05:00

Recently, one of my friends came up to visit from Tifton, GA. Now, I had no preconceived notions about Tifton, so it made this story all the better. If you ever watched that Nemo movie, you'll make the connection. My friend went to the movies with her husband. It was stadium seating, so the rows are stacked up on a hill, right? Right. Down a couple rows, there was this girl. We'll call my friend Boo. and her husband Squiggy. Squiggy tells Boo not to say one word about the girl down a couple rows. this girl has no arms, but DOES have fingers out of her shoulders. (This is the point where i lose a lot of readers). Boo gets indignant and tells Squiggy that she's not going to say anything about it! The movie starts. The crowd is enthralled. There are good times, happy times, and funny times. Evidently, every time there is an exciting of funny part, Nemo's (to round out the names for simplicity) flanges move up and down. It's hard to explain without the visual, but Boo's description was grade A hilarious. I know it sounds insensitive and awful, but you have to laugh at everyone, if you're going to laugh a one person...I make fun of some girl wearing snooty boots and a frog around her neck too. Anyway, Boo starts laughing and Squiggy gets upset. The movie ends, and Squiggy goes for "le tee tee". Boo is waiting out there for him, and guess who is directly in front of her? Nemo.

This is how funny Boo is. She's so self-conscience about her laughing, that she's paralyzed on what to do. If she doesnt look at Nemo, then she's ignoring her because of her features. If she looks, then she is staring at her features. The tension builds, and so does the liquid in the bladder. Boo finally decides to go to her own "le tee tee" party. BUT.....Nemo goes in with her. Now this story is second-hand. Remember these are questions that are posed to me: HOW IN THE BLUE H#~! Does Nemo pull down her pants?? AND WIPE???

This blog has now reached an all time low; let's go one step further and bring church into it:

After that deplorable debacle above, Boo and Squiggy go to church...They sit down, and immediately Squiggy looks at Boo and says, "Dont say a word!". Boo looks around and there is a girl there who, well, doesnt have all her faculties about her. Boo got upset, and rebuttals, " What kind of person do you think I am? I'm not going to do anything like that. ESPECIALLY in church!". The sermon starts, and in the middle, the little girl keeps laughing and looking over her shoulder at Squiggy. Boo cant contain herself anymore, and finally busts out laughing. Now, I've gotten the giggles, and it's hard to get rid of the giggles when someone is egging you on one way or another. Enter: Squiggy elbowing Boo (who is now hysterically laughing from the giggles), and this little girl laughin with her the whole time and winking/waving at Squiggy....by the time i heard the end of this entire epic, my sides hurt. OH, and I came to another conclusion.

Don't go to Tifton. Ever.

I think someone...Well, someone shit on the Fireball

2006-06-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

In one of my adventures to a theme park, me and friends came across this interesting looking ride. It was shaped like a claw, and on each finger sat for seats. We walked up to it and got in line...the people riding it finally got out and exited. We were like the 6th or 7th person in line, so we were definitely getting the next ride. All the sudden....the operator came to the line, and told us "we have to shut down the ride for operational reasons. The delay may be a while."

I was thinkin to myself, did it drop a screw or something? Then all the sudden, this geeky guy comes out of nowhere with this packet (which i assume they have all over the park now)...he walked over to car 11, put on some rubber gloves, and opened this hazmat packet. Do you remember in high-school, when someone yacked ? the janitor came out and put kitty litter on it to dry it up, so he could then sweep it up for the fruity treats in the cafeteria? This is what the commotion at car 11 reminded me of. yes...i just ended a sentence with a preposition. deal with it. anyway, he gets out some powder of strange descent-and begins sprinkling it all over car 11. the folks in line in front of me started asking questions to his chagrin, and he let some details slip; "we've had a spill. It's currently a biohazard right now. not to worry though, it's being taken care of." ...At this point we were all wondering what the hell happened. There's pretty much four things (maybe five, but the 5th is very unlikely) that a human body can do to a ride. Pee, poop, blood, or puke. Now...I didnt see the person that got out of car 11, but if I did...i just might've lost it. We figured out what it was.

It was pretty clear once the "hazmat supervisor" got out the spatula to scrape whatever it was off car 11. By this time, the line had attracted quite a crowd (since crowd mentality is: if there's a line, it must be good), and it was the first few folks little secret about what happened. We were dying to know who would sit in the shitty seat which was car 11. the gates opened, we sat down, and for that 1min30sec, the first folks were family. We all laughed at the jackass in baby blue shorts sitting in car 11. ah, car 11: the shittiest car in the park!

Incidentally, the name of the ride was the Fireball. Now, I know why.

Waterpark Speedo

2006-06-25T09:44:00.000-05:00

So, I guess people wear whatever the hell they want to at the waterpark.

Tube tops, 2-piece bathing suits, thongs, and um....speedo's. Yep, speedo's. Been having fun all day, the sun is going in and out, the water is nice, and I been waiting a long time to go down this particular slide. Finally, tube in hand, I ride down the pipeline through waterfalls and down embankments. There's one last little tunnel to the wading pool at the bottom. Everything goes dark, I finally hit the last waterfall, splash--and it's over. I'm clearing my eyes off, and there it is. Some bald, fat, biker dude with his turkey butterball bell sticking out...and his chicken arms and legs making him look like some super deformed cartoon. Underneath that big ol roof, is a little shed covered in black lycra. I was like, "Damn! Gross".

That's not the first thing you wanna see after an exhilerating ride involving water and darkness. From that moment on, I saw that f#cker everywhere. In the lazy river. At the water gym. In the gift shop....and at the Wave pool. Did he go into the wave pool for the waves? NO. Here's this fat bastard standing just far enough in so that when the waves wash up, they hit that speedo with precision. I give up. I cant talk about this
anymore. I just wanted to tell someone else so they could enjoy at least part of the discomfort I felt at having to be around it. You can't ignore the audacity. That dude was high on the hog. He thought he was Fabio...but he was just another sad man with a "little point" to prove.

The "ONE-STOP SHOP" Grandma: working underage children

2006-06-25T08:55:00.000-05:00

So it's late one nite...I go into the "one-stop shop" for a new bathing suit. I hate going there during the day because....well, I hate people in general. Anyway, me and some friends go to try on our suits. Sitting there at the changing desk (which incidentally happens to be the "paging desk" and operator for the store) was a Grandma and her little capunchkin. She was watching her children's children while on the clock late at nite. Not only was this little girl up and about so late, but sweet ol' Grandma-ma had the oompa loompa folding clothes, answering the phone, and giving out number hangers for the dressing rooms! That's right, America! Next time you go into work, and YOU"RE 70...go ahead and babysit your grandchildren.

Evidently, it's what every card carrying member of AARP is doing these
days.

This is your 8 minutes of Previews....Enjoy Bitches!

2006-06-16T23:37:00.000-05:00

Gifts For Grandma

I'm dog-ass (is that a freaking word?) tired from playing around with this electronic graphic tablet someone let me borrow...but i wanted to let each and every one of my random readers from mexico to china....I've got some material to tell. some good stuff i've seen and experienced. This isn't about me. This isn't about you...it just is, remember? I've got a slanted view on several subjects, and all I've got time for right now are the forthcoming titles:

"Wal-mart Grandma: working underage children"
"The Nemo Story"
"Waterpark Speedo"
"I think someone...Well, someone shit on the Fireball"
"Are swingers for real??"
"Pa-Pa, you gotta go tee tee?"
"Confessions of a hopped up Pacemaker patient"

And last, but surely not least:
"This blog's on top Again"

Stay tuned, because if you miss it...Well, I guess you could just go back and read it later...But where's the fun in that?

How to Hire a Gutter Cleaning Service - eHow.com

2006-05-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

How to Hire a Gutter Cleaning Service - eHow.com

This is for when you've heard one thing, but thought another. That's right--you got a dirty gutter. "What are you gonna do with those cans?"....recycle them! "Why don't you go downstairs, and say hello to Daddy".

If you thought anything but the most literal meaning to those sentences, I would recommend the above site.

It's what's for Hoomp:

2006-05-15T18:40:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when New Englanders name their bands SPRooM!!!

this is something nice i did

2006-05-15T17:25:00.000-05:00

mothers day 06
Originally uploaded by greenpwr1.

For mother's day. my girl's hand. lots.

Good Riddence to Bad Rubbish (aka Son of a Bitch)

2006-05-12T15:56:00.000-05:00

From one SOB to another,
Below is a disgruntled employee's "farewell to arms"...Pathetic. I normally would've enjoyed something like this, except for the fact that it's contrived, trite, and completely unoriginal. Furthermore, this kumquat knows nothing about me personally, yet calls me "corporate puppet boy" WTF? anyone, ANYONE who knows me would be the first to tell you that the corporate world is evil (and against everything i personally stand for). I work for a means to an end. I'm not going to do a shitty job because i hate what i do...it's just not in my character. Well, I say FU IN A BISCUIT, SIR. You won't be missed, we're having a going away party after YOU leave, and that gas problem you seem to have....well, take it the fuck with you too. Ba BYE....may life treat you as well as you seem to treat it.

This letter has been removed because in the end it doesnt really matter...only that the person who wrote it sucked big babboon ass

It took a little while.....but, W still sucks

2006-05-06T23:41:00.000-05:00

www.myspace.com/sproom

Woo. i've figured a way to tie these two bitches together.
it's about f*cking time.

malevole - Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

2006-05-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

malevole - Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

What do you think? Saavy Tech head? Or Scary Head Fuck?
Take the test...it's not as hard as it sounds...

You'll be happy to know this site is termite free. for your enjoyment, i've added Bejeweled as well. you dont like it, KMA, cotter.

DevilDucky - Stephen Colbert Roasts Bush: Part 1 of 3

2006-05-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

DevilDucky - Stephen Colbert Roasts Bush: Part 1 of 3 Ok, big fan of the Cobert Report, and he's attended the Associated Press hosting White House Correspondents', the President, the press and all kinds of other folks. Kudos to DevilDucky.com for posting this. You've got to watch!!! watch the other 2 parts as well...they are magnificent. This man has cajones.

Also, for your viewing pleasure, or actively pursued pleasure....i've got a pad to put random thoughts, Tetris, and some Pacman. Enjoy. if you like em, let me know.

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.

2006-05-02T18:09:00.000-05:00

-Mark Twain. stupid mustache...sometimes smart man...i get sick of people telling me these subjects are taboo in conversation. WTF? talk about them. if people get offended by your beliefs, get offended by their offense, and tell them if THEY believe the side they are on...then they should have enough conviction to say so. OW! i just fell off that damn soap box again.

until Neo Conservatives and Retards stop breeding, i guess my work will never be done.

Lady Punch - Google Video

2006-04-27T16:37:00.000-05:00

Lady Punch - Google Video

This is gonna happen to me someday probably...but i'll keep shooting my mouth off until then. i got some advice from one of my friends though...if you're gonna punch somebody, lock your arm and swivel your hip. sounds like a damn square dance, but i guess it works

Mike, The Hulk, and Bobo

2006-04-26T13:00:00.000-05:00

Mike, The Hulk, and Bobo

If you like movies, music, interviews, and opinions...stop over at this site. it's got the Hulk and a monkey too.

"Game...Blouses!"

Highlight-->Gotcha Bitch!!

i'm now a full fledged media whore

2006-04-25T19:27:00.000-05:00

www.myspace.com/sproom

i got my site finally...i was bored into it
i'm trying to find a way to tie this to it, but
i'm pretty sure they want to FORCE me to
use their blog. i say bleh to that.

I'm sorry officer.....i, didnt know i couldnt do that.

i'm going to try somethin

2006-04-23T18:13:00.000-05:00

my friend mike told me about this today. Since i dont really trust him, we're gonna make it a project. k? Ok, here's what you do: Highlight from the arrow to my next comment -->

You're a shit!

um...my next comment. did it work?

It's the little things in life

2006-04-23T17:38:00.000-05:00

i've had a mundane day today. i'm unfortunate to work while others play. but enough of that because i'm not THAT much of a complainer...and it was fairly cloudy outside today anyway (tee hee). Have you ever done something not to be mean necessarily, but just for personal enjoyment. This is completely trivial, but i found joy in it. Turning the light out on someone in a public restroom while they are unloading the big one. Yes, i did this today. WHY?? It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time! "Hey! I can't see in here!"...i walked to the midchamber, washed my hands, dried them, opened the door, looked back and said "Cold-Blooded" much in the vein of Dave Chappelle's slant on Rick James. If you've ever seen the last scene of Four Rooms (if not, go rent it), then picture the bellhop leaving. That's how i walked away. Smirking. OK, i'm a bastard. oh well. Don't play your assflute for someone not wanting to hear it! YEAH!!!

LASIK@Home

2006-04-23T17:35:00.000-05:00

LASIK@Home
What IN jim bean is this?? "yes, i was calling about your at home procedure...? yea the one where i hold that handmixer over my eye while it cuts a flap in my cornea...yes, mmm hmm, no medical degree required? nice. how much is it? oh, i dont have an unborn child...i cant seem to find anyone to love me in these bottle glasses...." what's next? At home breast implants? sweet jesus

Imagenes y Poesia

2006-04-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

OK, if you cant tell, im perusing the "next blog" option....wow, it's cracking me up.

Imagenes y Poesia

...Burning Solitude`

2006-04-21T10:46:00.000-05:00

Wow....take a look. no really, if only for the music

...Burning Solitude`

OH, and another thing....

2006-04-21T10:10:00.000-05:00

I am not associated with those assoholes that took my word--Sproom. That word was coined by me long before some New Englanders took it. Their like dolphins...and as you know; DOLPHINS CAN SUCK IT!!!!

Anyway, I might change my whole descripter. Tell me what YOU think. Hmmm.
SPRooM: Not the stupid New Englander band.

SPRooM: it's whats for hoomp: i cant stand it

2006-04-21T10:04:00.000-05:00

Has anyone read the comments from my last entry? really? i can get some political spam, a park ranger known as "juicyfruiter" wanting ME to visit HIS blog, and finally an offer for free porn.

Well....Thanks folks. You've made my life complete. No, really. if i ever want to discuss politics while talking to some gay ass park ranger while watching free unsolicited porn; You're gonna be the first people i call.

SPRooM: it's whats for hoomp: i cant stand it: "3 Comments:

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i cant stand it

2005-07-16T08:29:00.000-05:00

here i am, sitting at work on the last crappy saturday rotation i will
probably be working in a long time, and i have to be here with people i
cannot stand. they talk about their little lives, and how much it matters
to them...all caught up in their own selfish corner of life. they dont care
about the other people they're yammering at. they just want the chance to
tell their story. to feel important. to make what they do matter. "i went
gardening!" "my granddaughter doesnt get sodas...you know how bad they are
for you??" "i love the color of your hair! where did you get it".....AGH!
i come here everyday to work, and wonder how in the world i'll keep myself
from becoming them. everything i am is different from here. yet here i sit,
using their email to speak about what i cant stand. i'd be a little happier
if it wasnt early morning on a saturday, and i've already worked 45 hrs
this week. oh well....b!tchfest is over

On a brighter note, i'm thinkin me and the fam are taking a break to the
water park. it's pretty fun. There's this stygma that i dont like going
outdoors. it got associated to me a while back, and i am really trying to
get rid of it. i like going outdoors actually. i dont like getting super
hot (although i am a sexy beast), and during the summer when is 189 degrees
outside....i tend to whine about doing things out there. but once i'm out
there....i like being there.

i guess im going thru a mid-mid life crisis, where i'm trying to find out
who i am and who i am going to be....I'm young enuff where i dont really
feel like i'm grown up, but old enuff to realize the days of my youth are
slipping away. it's a very odd feeling. funny to me this subject never came
up before with anyone around me growing up. there's never been a situation
i can remember talking about a transitionary phase...and it seems at this
point in my life to be the most important. it's the gap between the old me
who found himself way back in junior high to the person i've always
envisioned i would become.

so, i keep asking myself....who is that person? are they better than i am
now? are they worse? now's the time to reflect and start deciding what it's
going to be. that is definitely going to be the interesting part.....

okely dokely

2005-06-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

in a fit of boredom, since my daughter is asleep...and i'm waiting on the wife to get home, i've now gone and figured it's time for an artful project; totally eclectic to me. that's right! time to do another discography for the ol' bjorkster. i've listened to her new album to get the feel for some new stuff i wanna try. anyway, it eats up time like this. where i haven't blogged much lately, blah, blah, blah....i wonder if i even have readers anymore. i have been caught up in the sordid mush called life. with all that's been going on...well, i just ignored my fragile blog. It's sad, really.

onward and upward, i've done discographies for debut, post, homogenic, and vespertine...it kinda seems unorthodox to let them end with those at this point. nope, put me down for a few more. i'll update every now and again with one i really like and might want to share. i dont have to share because, well...they ARE for me.

on a different note, my second father's day is coming up...and to tell you a truth, it's already better than the first. see, my little girl KNOWS me now, has an outspoken personality (now she had one before, but the intricacies of a baby's personality are lost with the blank stares and tongue darts out of it's mouth), and can say she loves me. now why wouldnt that be better? of course i always knew she did love me...just now she can express it.

so, cheerios in your soup and keyrats in your chicken: im outie.

2005-05-14T21:37:00.000-05:00

and all the light fixtures we did ourselves...screw electricians

2005-05-14T21:36:00.001-05:00

the dining room

2005-05-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

the fan

2005-05-14T21:35:00.000-05:00

here's the "new" living room with nice uncarpeted floors and a new ceiling fan

Napoleon Dynamite vs. Fender

2005-03-20T22:48:00.000-06:00

Napoleon Dynamite vs. Fender

I'll give you two guesses on which one i voted for...DANG!
some two bit trash can or the mighty moves of a misunderstood dancing savant.

What the hell kind of Dog are you??

2005-03-20T22:46:00.000-06:00

Gone to the Dogs: a new British comedy film

I'm a bearded collie (aka sheep dog). yeah...that's right, i can kick Wyle E. Coyote's ASS!!
Hit the link and go to "game" to your left, dummy.

SKYY VODKA...some of the prettiest ads i ever did see...

2005-03-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

SKYY VODKA

for your viewing pleasure....please feel free

i hate this....

2005-03-17T22:12:00.000-06:00

transferring info from one computer to the other really sucks. out with the old and in with the new and all...but that isnt as easy as it sounds. ive just about got everything over here where it belongs, and im ready to have it done. right now i've got 2 computers sitting on the desk, and its starting to get to me. oh well, whine whine whine. back to the grind stone.

once i get everything moved, i should be able to drop by more often, and sound off some.

tootles

2005-02-22T22:19:00.000-06:00

This projection TV delivers full-blown (1080i) HD display capability, a 65" theater-ratio 16:9 widescreen and 2-tuner picture-in-picture for watching 2 shows, movies or sports events simultaneously. And the motion-adaptive 480-line 3D digital comb filter ensures that, no matter what the action, the picture comes in with superb clarity.

....Ok, so i copied that. but share in my excitement please. i've wanted this little number for at least 3 yrs, and now i've seen tht 70's show, king of the hill, and matrix revolutions on it. it's very snazzy. k, so i'm excited about it. that's all i had to say about that. however, the move of our massive entertainment system to the bedroom was met without injury. you see, it's been moved three times. twice with a furniture mover....and once without. i got one of my best friend's to come over and help me with the thing a couple years ago. it was the worst moving day ever. we had to be out of the apartment by midnite, we were going out of town that weekend, and the last nite...it was raining. my friend mike came over, and said "i met a girl tonite!". he was walkin his dog on campus as bait (tee-hee). anyway, he was very excited with his head in the clouds and his feet firmly in sandals. yes, he came to move in sandals. we put off moving that entertainment center until we just couldnt anymore. we shimmied it all the way to the door, and then mike stumbled on the doorjamb..that's all it took. of course, it could've taken more. the entertainment center *****SQUEAMISH ALERT**** ripped poor little mike's toenail right on off. worst feeling of my life to have a peice of my furniture injure someone maliciously. my wife, being the great gal she is, was smart enuff to call another of our best friends (who couldnt help us move due to his OWN injury)....and get some gauze. to make a short story long, mike toughed it out like a trooper, we got everything moved, and he's now happily ever after with his girl. the end. (watch out for that entertainment center though....it's tasted blood, and it's thirsty)

2005-02-20T09:57:00.000-06:00

and finally...some cool furniture in the lobby of hilton: new orleans. we had a great time, met some fun people, made friendly conversation with the locals, drank heavily, and let it all hang out....this was brought to you by Mardi Gras '05. enjoy.

2005-02-20T09:55:00.000-06:00

the bead tree

2005-02-20T09:50:00.000-06:00

here's the outside of La'fitte piano bar

2005-02-20T09:46:00.000-06:00

The Rat Pack: me, laurie, benedict, kim, terry

2005-02-20T09:45:00.000-06:00

the piano singer at la'fitte's (if i just slaughtered the name of this bar...i appologize)

2005-02-20T09:42:00.000-06:00

the firemen...if i have to hear another thing about the firemen....geez. melissa, kim, and suzanne

2005-02-20T09:40:00.000-06:00

the only smiling pic of joe i could find the entire trip (cantankorous coot)

2005-02-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

Mike trying to breathe fire (dumb)

2005-02-20T09:38:00.000-06:00

Laurie and Miriam at Silky's

2005-02-20T09:36:00.000-06:00

our Brit friend Benedict we met in nawlin's proving physics really works. silky o'sullivans bucket o'goodness. mmmmm

2005-02-20T09:33:00.000-06:00

joe being all poopy pants cuz he's tired...aww

2005-02-20T08:50:00.000-06:00

Kim's noodle house!

2005-02-20T08:48:00.000-06:00

tugboat like the one uncle jack used to drive

2005-02-20T08:47:00.000-06:00

joe and mike sassing the little boy

2005-02-20T08:46:00.000-06:00

some sea-chickens on the prowl in the murk

2005-02-20T08:44:00.000-06:00

Gump takin some pics of the foggy water

2005-02-20T08:30:00.001-06:00

here's a cool sculpture right on the river

2005-02-20T08:30:00.000-06:00

the oldest still in use church...if you're really interested, just ask mike--believe me, he'll tell you all about it (more than once)

2005-02-20T08:27:00.000-06:00

a blurry picture of us as Landry's: Suzanne, Joe#2, Jessica, Kim, Jason, Mike, Joe#1, Gump, and Laurie

2005-02-20T08:26:00.000-06:00

jessica sharing a look, and laurie lookin at the waiter's ass....SHAME ON YOU!!

2005-02-20T08:25:00.000-06:00

joe and miriam, loopy from some mardi gras punch

2005-02-20T08:24:00.001-06:00

"GET REAL ACTION" 7-up your thirst away

2005-02-20T08:24:00.000-06:00

my dogs is gettin tired

2005-02-20T08:23:00.000-06:00

hog call, razorback-style outside the hogs bar

2005-02-20T08:22:00.001-06:00

flamingo float

2005-02-20T08:22:00.000-06:00

jessica after expunging libations all over the architecture...and mike celebrating.

2005-02-20T08:21:00.001-06:00

me and my girl in a drunken stupor after dancing at club 735

2005-02-20T08:21:00.000-06:00

nacho mama's mexican grill...kinda like flying burrito in NWA. pretty good sh!t

2005-02-20T08:20:00.000-06:00

me and mikey (we got hurricane mouth)

2005-02-20T08:19:00.001-06:00

that's my girl doin the shocker, laurie, jessica, and miriam in back

2005-02-20T08:19:00.000-06:00

pic of melissa holding the "mike and mike" pic....some random dude looked just like mike. what a poser

2005-02-20T08:18:00.000-06:00

goin over the river behind bevin,melissa,rob, and gump

2005-02-20T08:17:00.000-06:00

jehovah java-blessed coffee

2005-02-20T07:34:00.000-06:00

today i'm gonna post some pictures some pics from mardi gras. they are pretty good stuff. had a blast actually. 15 freakin people went, and we didn't have a fight the whole time. now that's crazy stuff. here's most of the group together.

2005-02-20T07:26:00.000-06:00

so a lot has happened since my last blog (ages ago)....megan's b-day, then my b-day, then thanksgiving, christmas, new year, blah blah blah. so i've been a little busy

2004-10-28T21:25:00.000-05:00

i just accidently hit the "next blog" button, and some obnoxious music accosted my ears. it scared the hell out of me actually, much like this nuclear silo sitting between my city and my parents. be afraid. BOO!

the story of wang:

2004-10-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

havnt posted in a blah, blah.....

here it is in all it's glory--

I worked weekends at a corporate job, tick-tacking on a keyboard while everyone else was sleeping, or boosing, or having wonderful relations...whether they be with themselves or others. in this job, i had to share a desk with different people....almost like a pod people symbiosis. for the most part, that was ok. one saturday, however, changed all that. i was working as usual, wishing that just one saturday, i could f*cking stay home. behind me, sharing my pod, was a rotund woman (not young of age) and her loving arm swag and dumpy butt....ok, so now you're saying to yourself--"dude, man, whatever; this guys mean". you have to understand, i'm a mean person when it comes to old people. they smell, get in my way, and drive....scary. anyway, i usually got along with her for the most part. there were always rumors about her ex-husband being in the porn business back in the day of unshaven kitties and average joes corn-holing the lot of them. off the subject, but still a pertinent fact. (this is where you file this, and note this corolation later). she started flirting with me in that "if you weren't so young, and i weren't so gross...i'd rip ya apart" way--and i laughed it off. i dealt with this until mid-morning, until IT came. she got up from her chair as slowly as you would expect her to get up, turned around to push her chair back in, bent ever so slightly over.....and farted. yes, she passed wind. not so amazing, huh? however, remember that i'm sharing this desk space with her. the back of my head was in firing range. the bitch farted on my head. not just any fart. the fart of an old lady that gave up trying to hold them in a long time ago. it started so slowly....sput, sputtering--p,pp,pppip,pip,pip "skweerk". then the sound that has now defined a beginning for my venacular. it hooked around something that was desperately trying to hang on in there, and then clanging out into the air...along with the tangy charity to my head.

HOOMP-WANG.

then the lady turns around, has the gall to say "excuse me", and take her tired-wallored-porned ass to the bathroom. i was at once agasp, and amused. it's still a story that thrives in my memories. i bring it up to friends, coworkers, and strangers alike (although the strangers always look like deer in headlights). it's started a habit of insane words that come out freely, and sometimes, actually make sense in context.

there you have it. i hope you at least giggled once. yes, i got farted on. and it changed my life forever. not really.

THE END

next time: "who the hell knows?"

2004-10-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

here's her cute bday cake!!

2004-10-07T22:51:00.000-05:00

here's baby Megan on here 1ST birthday!!! she's so damn cute

I said I loved you but I lied:

2004-10-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's been a reeeeaaalllly long time since i posted, but fear not. i'm back. much has passed, and much to say. let's start from the top:

went on the vegas trip--turned into a retreat where i found a new perspective on life and i want to go back soon. great weather, dry, nice swimming, pretty people, stuff to do at 3 to 5 am no matter what day it is, great places to stoop, and it's a frickin desert for pete's sake....really save pete. he's got troubles.

seriously, i came back with a hand in my past. i'm at that age where i'm not old, but not young....i've been through lots, but not enuff. it's a very strange age, but i digress. it was nice to feel like some of what i was back then is now a part of me again. i wrote on the plane back. i just got the bug....i don't know what it was, or how i felt at the time, but i was this....bored. I sat between a Asian lady about 4 ft tall and taking up her seat and some of mine. the other person was this urban trash cowboy with a boyish frame, wranglers, boots, and a cloth jacket that said "Sin City"....what an experience. anyway, i noticed he was a lefty, and since the lady on my left slept (by the window....), i looked over. i'm really not one of those people that read over your shoulder, but i just glanced, and it caught my eye....entries with the heading of girls' names. i read small excerpts, and let's just say, dude got around. i quit reading and went back to my sketching. in the midst of all that though....i started writing:

"So, i've become accustomed to "blogging", or basically just giving my opinions on things. i was going to sketch but instead im sitting here writing. It's a weird thing to want to write all the time. truth is, i feet (i feet?) i just crossed an "L" like a "T". stupid. i feel so insignificant. right now passing over the Grand Canyon. So small, so alone. i'm not alone of course, but i'm sitting here with strangers. hell, people i know are strangers sometimes. it's just so confusing. maybe i'm sane...maybe i'm not. i am one of those people that sits there acting all happy, but you don't really know if i am or not. i'm pretty down on myself right now, but you've got to understand that i don't even know if i'm happy. i don't know if i ever completely will be. the thing about that is, can anyone be just completely happy? i don't think it's possible. what is possible though, is making the best of it. no reason to keep getting upset. that's just going to kill me quicker. i need to be the compassionate person i used to be. somewhere along the line, i lost that. i cant even tell someone definitively where i want to eat. this week away on vacation had great times and bad times. there were moments that things were perfect; very Zen moments. other moments were horrible. and to be the cause of bad times, to affedt other people's lives to the point the just can't live...that's just unacceptable. don't know why i thought about this, but this very sketchbook-turned-sounding-off-journal came from someone i don't even like. that begs the question, do i really like anyone? am i likeable? the older i get, the less i have good traits. i am fun to be around, but people don't get me. that's not an egotistical statement. it's a declaration of misunderstanding. no one can ever tell when i'm joking, or when i'm serious. i wish i could describe that feeling. of course, i'm living in the place i've built around me. this is MY architecture. im enclosed in my sarcasm, and even when i leave it, people put me back there. i cannot be serious anymore. the only emotions people seem to understand from me anymore is anger, bitterness, and a staunch sense of humor that degrades the very soul. and i say i'm a good person. (so would other people). i am not. i am disconnected, disenfranchised, and virtually inhuman. nothing moves me anymore. and i find myself wondering why nobody sits down, looks at me,and wants to talk. they dont because i have nothing to offer them, other than feeling worse for the wear. i'm not saying im some robot or anything (i just ate some of my "snack pack" consisting of some sweet carb-loaded food like honey roasted peanuts, teddy grahams, and lorna doone cookies). i do have feelings, but like i've sai, i'm in my own box. i'm very compassionate. i just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. there's no reason for me not to be happy. i've got a beautiful wife (whether she thinks she is or not), a daughter that is more precious to me than i coul have ever imagined, and a friend that would literally go th the ends of the earth for me if he thought it would be necessary. it's funny. i'm up in the clouds were my mind normally stays. it's my worst enemy. its my greatest strength. my mind. will power or lack to use it to it's best is the determining factor on how my life will play out. i'm just tired of pushing everyone away. i don't want to be alone anymore. i want to be able to live without worry and strife. if things don't change, if things don't improve because im the one pushing people away...then i really will be alone. i feet (there i go again with "feet" instead of "feel") better after this vacation. i went to Sin City, and shared some personal demons. spread the pain. i just hope it pays off. it has to, right? human nature dictates you do what feels good. that means this awful place i've been fo a while is temporary. i move on thinking there is no more blame...only healing. now the only question is: Do i blog this or leave it here in this sketchbook/journal?"

Well...i guess that answers that question,huh? Seriously, i'm ok. don't call the police. lack of sleep, high altitude, and a sleazy womanizer next to you will do things to you. I'm actually happy though. I've been happy, but now it's different. and i can thank VEGAS for all that. like i said before....there's just something amazing about grouping people together to make an experience. enough of this trip...that happened a long time ago. had a blast, and i would only change one thing about the whole trip....uh, make that two things. i'm not actually going to tell you what they were, because THAT is none of your damn business, but all in all....it was a blast

I promise...when i get all caught up, i'll give the origin of HOOMP. it's a big story, and i'm not willing to rush it. so bleh! :)

Ok...it's been a while:

2004-09-12T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here at CONAN Official Website looking at the cool new action figures i saw yesterday while out shopping. Pretty cool figures actually, but anyway....let's recap on some nice little things that have happened this past week:

My holiday weekend wasn't really much of a holiday. It was attack of the Mom's. don't get me wrong i love em, but i'm glad to see them go too. Kim's mom wasn't so much the prob as mine was...i'll leave at this: i didnt get much sleep due to being sick, having to work my weekend rotation, and dealing with an adult who raised me being afraid to do anything with my kid while i try to rest. yeah...everybody at work was like, "did ya have a great holiday weekend?", and i reply...."i would've rather been at work. who needs a holiday, if ya can't relax??"

Ok, enuff of that. I did however get some great news. my blood results came back and they said my levels were within normal means. WHOO-HOO! that means i'll be around a little longer. I do have to go back (arrgh) and get RE-REchecked in a few months to make SURE sure that my levels are actually normal. bleh. at least they didn't laugh at me when i almost passed out this time. GRRR. the nurse did come in, look at me, and asked my wife "Is this the chicken??". That's like going up to someone addicted to plastic surgery and saying "is this the human mannequin?". bleh

Me and my girls are having fun this weekend though! we're getting ready to take our vacation. Meg's going to the grandparents for a week to visit and awe them with her new skills (very talented girl). we've been working on the Hog Call with her, and hope to have it nailed down before the season is over. I hate the Longhorns! last nites game didn't really sock my knocks off. i was watching, but my level of angst and hope never ebbed or rose...it was odd. i really don't think either team were playing at their prime. close game, but i do think it could've played out different.

Anyway! Vegas is a'callin...ah, bright lights, big city, and plenty of freaks to watch. I'm not just excited about the destination, i'm excited about the whole experience. when i was a little kid, and my dad took me on weekend trips or holiday vacations...i loved the thrill of packing and planning and traveling and spending that quality time you don't get sitting at home playing video games or watching movies or board games or restaurants (i'm trying to make a very large run-on sentence....is it working?). there's something about climbing in an enclosed space with people you hold dear, and basically sticking with them for the duration...whether it be a car, plane, or metaphysical conveyance thru time and space (only done that one once). you have to communicate or, at the least, be in company with each other in silence. it's that magical time where you can truly bond. even a trip once you actually get there, it's the experiences you talk about years later. it's the growing culmination of events that pulls you together. i can't think of anything else that has that potential energy. hmmmm....guess i went out there for a while, huh? i'm back.

Speaking of getting back....my little girl will be 1 on the 27th!!! ONE year old...that's just crucking fazy. we've sent out the invitations (except the stragglers we're actually hand delivering), got all the decorations, party favors, b-day presents, etc etc etc... so that when we do return from our vacations, we can just veg. She's amazing. sorry, but i have to brag on her for a little bit. She's almost 1yr old, and she can wave "hi" and say it, she can wave "bye" and say it, she knows the sign for "more" and can say it, she can blow kisses as well as give them, walk around on her own (which she's been doing more than crawling thank goodness), starting to eat with a spoon/fork, give hugs, pseudo tickle you back (that's a real cute one if you play along), sit in her little Care Bear couch and watch her shows....it goes on and on. she knows my name (well Da-Da of course), which is probably my favorite thing she does beside being sweet. this morning, she decided she wanted in the "big bed" with her mommy and me. That's becoming a weekend habit that is pretty good actually. moving on, she patted my head affectionately, moved over and gave me a hug and baby kiss. You know....i don't really talk about being a dad much, and there are times that are trying although i love the little girl immensely. This is one of the times that i realize how "worth it" being that dad is. If you have kids you know what i speak...if you don't, you will when you get them.

OK, i promise i'll wrap this thing up soon...i just been busy here of late. SORRY! To my reader that answered all lyrical Bjork challenges, THANK YOU. you've just dictated the next post. I'm telling the semi-famous (at least around a 15-25 people radius) story of where exactly the word "Hoomp" came from...at least my meaning. Some of you have heard it, some haven't, but it's worth posting here, and definitely worth reading at least once. there's heartache, there's strong emotions as well as sights sounds and smells. it's a real life picture of a real life problem. stick around, cause you don't want to miss the origin of "HOOMP".

Next Post: "Hoomp--origin of a new generation--for the new generation." see ya kids.

Aspen Comics

2004-09-03T20:05:00.000-05:00

Aspen Comics

Bleh update....i hate pokey things

2004-09-01T15:40:00.000-05:00

Went to give more bodily fluids away today. the doctor basically took my
family history down, talked with me about some basic reasons some of this
might be happening, and then took some more samples to recheck my levels.
she said with my family history, they're still going to rechek me in a few
months if my levels are normal this go around. i found out that ALL my
counts were low, so i guess i'm basically running on pink water :) i'm not
going to stress about it anymore because i feel healthy, and 90% of health
is mental. i should have the results by next wed, but i'll let ya know what
they find out. DAMN the man!!! don't let him bring ya down! hokey science
geeks...who needs to listen to them?

Anyway, the Bjork albumn is sweet. I have to give it to her, she can sang
reel nise. One last lyric, and if all my posts are replied to in the way i
predetermined, i am telling a very special post afterward.....ready? you
sure?

"I adore....back of necks...beautifully shaven" have fun.

2004-08-30T23:13:00.000-05:00

Bjork review of her new albumn...after i get it, i promise i'll ease up on my obsession, kay?

2004-08-30T23:06:00.000-05:00

thank you, sir...may i have another?.

Blood-the lifegiver, the river of the soul, the destruction of man

2004-08-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

I've been going to a dietician for the last month to try and better myself, become skinnier, and alleviate all the maladies that have afflicted my family. they took a sample of my blood to screen it for various things (lipids, thyroid, cholesterol, etc). bad experience. i'll save that for another time, as i'm extremely sensitive when it comes to needles. bleh. anyway, i've done good so far: lost some weight, dropped my BMI. they did give me a call about my tests though.they said everything looks good except (then that means everything didn't look ok, right?). the doctor asks, "do you bruise easy?"....um no, but i do have a bruise where you dug into my hand. "do you ever have trouble stopping bleeding?"...not that i know of, i've never noticed a delay. "are you or have you been under the weather, sick, allergies, etc?.....i don't have frickin allergies and i can't remember the last time i was sick. so....got the results from my bloodwork, and it's not good. my white blood count and platelet count is way below normal (WBC around 3.0 and the norm is between 4.0-10.5......platelets around 52 and the norm is between 140-415). at some point i'm going to have to get rechecked within this week or next to see where they are from 4-6 ago...i called my mom today, since she's a nurse and wanted to hear what the actual numbers were to see what they considered "low". she started crying, so i guess it is bad. i'm hoping it was a fluke test, and the results came back bogus...but i won't know until i get the second round drawn and tests done. which really sucks, because i can't stand needles. bleh. oh well, enuff bad news.

Bjorkie for this post: "Lately, I seem to walk...as though i have wings"

I would blog today, but i've been replaced by an overseas source paid 40% less than me....dammit

2004-08-29T23:26:00.000-05:00

So, here's my little girl with my best friend's little girl. We took a picture of them both, so when Natilie comes back from Italy, she'll hear her name come from the mouth of a child...i would crop the date off, or change the settings on my camera to only use the date when i want to use it, but i'm either too damn busy or just too tired...you can decide that for yourself. Anyway........................................................here's you Bjorkie lyric:

"I'm a whisper in water...a secret for you to hear"

N.P. and M.R.G.

2004-08-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

i don't know what it is, but it's cool...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck kissed his boss's ass and got a promotion?

2004-08-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a downbeat entry, so if you are down or beaten, don't read...

Have you ever entered a contest for fun, then really wanted to win once it began? i just did that on a corporate level. i told myself that there was no need to get my hopes up for any of the prize because i already predicted the game was won. so, play by the rules.....give it your best shot. show the judges that your attributes are better. what happens when you enter in something like that with one of your friends though? do you wish that they succeed or you succeed, and if you succeed or vice versa that each other will be happy for the other? i don't know if that sentence makes sense to anyone else but me...but at this point if it bothers you that much, you're probably reading too much into it. luckily(except really not), neither of us got the job. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. what i do have a problem with is this:

I was told i would have an answer this friday. i did not get one. add the fact that the person who did get the job was called into an office right where i sit for the job offer i interviewed for and was told i'd get an answer for (bad grammar, but at this point i don't care). The bossman didn't say one damn thing to me or my friend about it. in my opinion...which i'm very well versed in, it shows lack of respect and common courtesy from someone i'm supposed to respect and be courteous to. WTF? anyway, I've been poopy pants about it since yesterday, and the only thing that made me forget about it for this weekend so far were two beautiful faces to wake up and see...and a "OH my God! i've got the water so hot, my skins gonna fall off the bone" showers. hopefully, this will be the end of it unless i get really pissed come monday....but i digress. here's the song that's stuck in my head today courtesy of Portishead:

"Seven Months"

For as long as I have tried

And as low as I can be

I will never resign myself

From the trial I seek

That's not part of my celebration to the release of the new Bjork however....for that, this is the next entry:

"How can I ignore? this is Sex without touching...I'm going to Explode"

have fun. you kidders you.

ALRIGHT!!! is not a gramatically correct word...

2004-08-26T19:13:00.000-05:00

Bjork's new new new new look...

Ok, so...um. I like Bjork. maybe that's a little bit of an understatement. her music is inexplicable. if you haven't listened to her, then do it. anyway, her new albumn is releasing Aug 31 here in the good ol' US. i don't expect everyone to know that because most people call her "Ba-jork" instead of "Be-york". There's no telling what these tracks will sound like. all her other albumns have been vastly different as time marched steadily on. Icelandic people must really age slowly. she doesn't look like a grown up, but she could be my mom. i'm glad she's not, because that would be just....well, wrong.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, i will be blogging random lyrics spanning her entire collection. i want comments back with the name titles, and then there will be a reward if i get the number of correct titles back (which is predetermined in my screwed up little mind). And for starter's, a very easy one.....

"I thought I could organize freedom....how Scandinavian of me"

ok...nevermind

2004-08-22T15:45:00.000-05:00

my friend just called and told me that his gal isn't quite gone yet...sweet. we might just get to say good bye afterall.

You burn more calories sleeping than watching TV...

2004-08-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

OK, so i woke up today around 09:00 this morning after going to sleep for a "nap" about 6:30pm the previous day...not just me either. my wife and kid too. i guess we were all tired or somethin, huh? anyway, the mother-in-law came into town on friday afternoon, and left out yesterday about 5:00. she had a great time with her little grangirl. she saw her trying to walk and talk, play around with her toys, and how well behaved she is in her normal environment.

so what do you do after 14 1/2 hrs sleep? go to IHOP of course. get some big ol' breakfast. we tried to get ahold of our friends to go, but nothing happened there. one of them was leaving out to Rome for six months, so i'm kinda bummed we didn't get to say good bye. that's what happens when you happen to get up earlier than everybody else does on a Sunday...except maybe the church crowd. so...i guess we'll see her in 6 months. that pretty much sucks, but what can ya do at this point?

Lets recap: family comes into town, we have a little fun, wear us out, sleep for 14hours through the time we would have normally called and said our good byes, and then can't reach her before she leaves....hmmmm. is that a good day? when life gives you rotten apples, throw them at the neighbors house.

OMG!!! the week of work is over

2004-08-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

I don't really have much to say, but i guess rambling never hurt anyone. i can't believe it's the end of august and basically one month away from my little girl turning a year old. if and when you ever have kids, cherish that first year, cuz you blink and it's over. she's a little person now. she communicates in her own little ways, and plays imaginatively. i wonder what goes on in the head of an eleven month old?

It's also the last week a friend is spending in the US for a while. headed off to a distant land filled with warm wine and pizza for the gift of education. six months ba-bye, but she's gonna updte her blog and let everyone back here know how physically intruding everybody gets over there. and......

GEARING up to go to las vegas! Yeah! sin city, baby. bright lights, gambling, 24/7 buffets, legal prostitution, shows, and lots of people watchin. definitely taking the camera on this trip everywhere. can't wait. i'm going with the best people you could ever go with: my loving wife, my best friend, and hanging with 3 of the most bacheloresque guys you could go with. it's gonna be a blast. hoo-boy....i'm stoked.

OH yeah: check out these cats-

volsequoyah.blogspot.com (a real rooty tooty) and
emilysoasis.blogspot.com (she likes midgets...i mean, what's better?)

i'll actually figure out how to make links and get my sidebar looking more like me someday, but until then.....suffer. suffer horribly.